Jeff Whites story

The values I hold dear every single day are respect, kindness, family, passion, energy and humility.

One that's been added since 31 August 2017 is grateful.

On that day, I picked my son Kalani up from school and was heading home to get him ready for his last footy training session of the year. Most car trips with the kids are filled with chatter, loud music and the occasional pit stop into the petrol station, however this felt different.

I just didn’t feel like myself. I felt angry, sad and strange. I self-diagnosed this as tiredness, stress or dehydration, but in hindsight my body was trying to tell me something. 

We arrived home and there wasn’t much time to get Kalani ready. I reached for some clothes in a basket in the laundry and it felt as though someone was leaning against me from the right. I turned my head to notice my right arm paralysed at a horizontal position, palm facing down. I could see it, but I couldn't feel it or move it. I quickly yelled for help. I used my left hand to squeeze my right arm and still felt nothing. I lay down on the floor because I had suffered previous fainting spells and they had caused me damage - especially falling from this height of 6 foot 5.

Over the past decade, I’ve suffered dizzy spells that would often turn to passing out. I learnt to manage this, but my symptoms were different this time. It was frightening. 

As I lay there on the ground, I started to get feeling back in my right arm. It was like a release. I didn't feel angry anymore, I didn't feel strange, I felt normal. But what had just happened?

My wife Stacy rushed home and immediately forced me to go to the doctor. This brought about several tests over the next month that would eventually result in being told by a neurologist that I had suffered a stroke.

I was devastated. I walked to my car and cried. It didn’t make sense. I'm 40 years old. I didn’t have high blood pressure, I didn’t smoke, I wasn’t overweight, my cholesterol was fine and I wasn’t a heavy drinker. How could this happen? 

The diagnosis hit me hard. I thought about my beautiful family - Stacy and my three boys – and what the future held for us. But I had to take a deep breath, gather my thoughts and head off to an important business meeting. I walked in to that meeting to find out I had lost a deal. It was not my day. I was shattered. 

I took some time to myself to process the day’s events and came to the conclusion - and I truly believe this - things happen for a reason. Life hits you from all angles, but you deal with it, learn and most importantly, action what you can control.

Sometimes life throws up situations that suck, really suck. What I decided to do right then was write down all the things I can control and that make me happy. I listed them all.

For several months I tried to get on with life as best I could, but there was a lingering fear. The same questions haunted me. What was the cause of my stroke?

What if it happens again and what if it's a big one? I desperately wanted answers to be able to move on with my life confidently. 

After many, many tests, I learnt I had a hole in my heart. 

Now it all made sense. A blood clot built up and instead of going through my heart and being filtered through my lungs, it popped out of this 2millimetre hole on the right side and travelled straight to my brain.

I played professional AFL footy for 14 years so I was well aware of the strengths and capabilities of my body. But amongst all that training, all that stress, all those moments of joy - I did not actually know what I was living with. 

The next step for me was for heart surgery to close the hole and to have a micro-chip inserted under my skin to monitor any future dizzy spells. I’m no stranger to undergoing the knife after having 14 or 15 operations during my career, but this was different. This wasn’t a knee – this was my heart, a vital organ.  

After the experience of my stroke and heart surgery, I had the opportunity to do some soul searching. I appreciate everything I have in my life more than ever before. I am grateful for my health and I focus on being a wonderful father, husband and friend. While I have worked extremely hard for what I have achieved in life so far, I don’t take anything for granted. 

On the day of my stroke, my life could have changed forever, but I feel like the big guy from above handed me a golden ticket and prompted me to check things out. I don’t like to think about the “what ifs”, life is a gift. My daily motto is to never give up, do things that make you happy and take action on things you can control. 

I can’t thank Stacy enough for making me see a doctor. I was a bit reluctant at first, but she wouldn’t take no for an answer. Deep down. I knew she was right. I now encourage my mates to get a medical check-up because health is so important.

My life was millimetres away from changing for the worst. I now appreciate you have to follow your instincts and follow your heart. 

Love to all, thanks for reading.