Gavin Paul Bennier was a larger-than-life character; likeable, friendly and everyone’s mate.

Jill the dog became a major part of Gavin’s life in 1997. His beloved border collie would remain loyally by his side for 15 years. They were the best of mates and they were inseparable. She was a beautiful dog with a gentle nature and easily won the hearts of all who knew her.

The following year, Gavin bought his own home. It was his pride and joy (besides Jill). He was excellent with his hands and would spend most of his spare time renovating. Gavin would thoroughly research how to do each project properly. He was a perfectionist. It showed in the quality of his workmanship. David says each room looked like it belonged on the pages of a fancy design magazine. Gavin even had space dedicated to his extensive Carlton Footy Club collection, which included navy blue and white football jumpers, scarves, teddy bears, watches and rugs!

Even though Gavin was a sociable guy, he was content in his own company and enjoyed hanging out in the home he had created. He liked a laugh and was obsessed with the television show M*A*S*H. He was able to recite almost every episode word for word. David and Shirley knew his routine well. The phone would ring for Gavin’s daily chat as soon as M*A*S*H was over.

Gavin also devoured documentaries about people, science and the environment. He watched just about everything David Attenborough ever made and had a true appreciation for people who had achieved great things like physicists Stephen Hawking and Brian Cox. Documentaries appealed to his curiosity and thirst for understanding how things worked.

Then at 7am on Friday 5 February 2016 everything changed. It began just like any normal day. Gavin was at home, getting ready for work as a car salesman as he had done so many times before, when he suffered a stroke.

Luckily Gavin’s friend dropped in on her way to a fitness class and discovered him, collapsed in the bathroom. She called for an ambulance straight away, while Gavin’s neighbour contacted David and Shirley. 

Gavin’s world fell apart when he suffered a stroke. Physically, he was paralysed down one side and emotionally, he was gob smacked. Stroke was not something a strong and vibrant man in his early 40s, like Gavin, would ever expect.

David and Shirley dropped everything to support Gavin. They would do anything for their son. He was their one and only. They were by his side in the stroke ward in Cairns every day. No words can explain the anguish the couple felt.

Gavin’s extensive friendship circle was shocked by his stroke. His girlfriend, Maree, and his mates rallied around him and would visit him every day in hospital to support him and cheer him on. He also made new friends with the staff and other stroke survivors in the ward who were drawn to him by his enthusiasm. Everyone wanted to see Gavin do well in his recovery. They would applaud him as he reached each stroke recovery milestone like talking, walking and climbing steps again.

While all of this encouragement was welcome and much appreciated, most of the motivation came from Gavin himself.  His inner strength and determination kicked into overdrive. He was incredibly dedicated to recovering from his stroke. He desperately wanted to get back to work and to live his life, but he was extremely frustrated with his left arm paralysis. He not only relied on his arm and hands for work, but for the activities he enjoyed in his own time.

Doctors believed Gavin would remain in the stroke unit for around eight months and was likely to leave in a wheelchair, but they didn’t account for Gavin’s fighting spirit. Gavin simply said “no way”. He threw everything into his recovery and walked out of hospital after just three months.

In every possible way, Gavin’s independence shone through. One of the key reasons he was discharged was because he could cook for himself. All that time in the kitchen over the years had paid off. He was a better cook with one arm than some people are with two. He could crack an egg cleanly with just one hand.

Returning home after his stroke had its challenges. But Gavin had his parents, Maree and team of visiting occupational therapists and physios dedicated to supporting his recovery. He needed help with showering, and some domestic chores, but he endeared himself to that team through his fun-loving personality, sheer determination and his spark.

David and Shirley moved-in with Gavin to offer further help for the first three months. It was difficult for them to see their son relying on other people to pull up his shorts or tie his shoe laces. They struggled to know their place at times and would question whether they were doing too much or not enough for him.

Gavin’s stroke took a huge emotional toll on his parents. In hindsight, they have realised they needed psychological support at the time to help them deal with the gravity of the situation and what it meant for Gavin’s future. But they were focused on him and his recovery and not on their own needs.

However, Gavin continued to surge forward in his recovery with remarkable gusto. Six months after the stroke, he was making outstanding progress physically. His mindset was positive and he was walking up to 80 kilometres a week. He bought himself an activity tracker and was using it to motivate himself to walk further and further each day.

Gavin hoped to return to work selling cars. He just needed to keep making gains in the movement of his hand.  He was also desperate to drive again and bought a new car, an automatic, as an incentive to push on with his rehab.

He adjusted to life after stroke. He enjoyed spending time at home, where he’d cook Sunday lunches for family and friends. Gavin was a real whiz on the barbecue. Life really was looking up.

Then he suffered a major setback - he had the first of many seizures.

It was the day before he was due to take his driving test to get back behind the wheel. This was an important day. The test would re-open doors that had been closed since his stroke. He had been looking forward to it.

The seizure sent Gavin spiraling backwards. All of that positive progress he’d made in recovery came to a sudden halt. He was full of anxiety. He worried that he’d have another seizure while out walking, so it went to the wayside.

The seizure also had a huge impact on Gavin’s mood. A dark cloud and depression moved in. This usually upbeat and strong-willed guy with a lust for life had been rocked to his core. He was scared.

Gavin continued to have seizures, but the doctors didn’t know why or whether he would continue to have them. There was no explanation for what was happening inside of Gavin’s brain.

Gavin tried his best to keep-up his spirits, but he was frustrated.

Less than a year after his first seizure, he suffered a second stroke. It was catastrophic. Gavin battled hard to stay alive in intensive care, but his determination was not enough this time. His body could no longer cope.

Gavin’s spark had burnt out way too soon.

In a true display of friendship and loyalty, Gavin’s mates combined their skills after his death and completed the final renovation needed on his home – the master bedroom and ensuite. They did the work from the heart because Gavin had made their lives richer. It was a kind and generous gesture which meant the world to David and Shirley.

Since Gavin’s death, his heartbroken parents have learnt he had a rare, untreatable and deadly brain disorder called Cerebral Amyloid Angiopathy (CAA). It is most commonly associated with dementia and people much older than Gavin.

David and Shirley have learnt all they can about CAA, but there are many unanswered questions. The disorder is almost impossible to diagnose, it is currently untreatable and it is fatal.

With heavy hearts, but full conviction, the Bennier’s are determined to honour their darling Gavin and make a difference to young stroke survivors by establishing a research fund in his memory.

The Gavin Paul Bennier Memorial Research Fund will support a scholarship which will bolster research into the disorder which took his life. The ultimate goal would be to create breakthroughs in the early diagnosis of CAA, treatment, prevention and ultimately a cure. 

David and Shirley also want the fund to help us better understand the impact of stroke on young people and help support them return to work, return to life. 

The Bennier’s don’t want other young people to go through the same devastating experience that Gavin did. They also want to spare other parents the anguish of losing a child. 

Losing Gavin has been the most tragic event in David and Shirley’s life. His spark touched so many lives. He was greatly admired and well respected, ‘full of beans’, pragmatic, dependable and caring.  The daily phone calls are greatly missed. 

Whilst Gavin’s light may have been lost to the world, within hours of his death he had transformed the lives of two other Australians through organ donation. 

David and Shirley take comfort from Gavin’s final act of generosity. The greatest gift that anyone could give.

David and Shirley have vowed to make a difference.

They say “we do not have control over many things in life, but we do have control over the meaning we give it,” and they are determined to have a positive impact and create a lasting legacy in Gavin’s memory.