Behind the wheel when stroke struck

By Gillian

We were living in the UK when my husband Paul had a stroke in 2017. I can remember the moment like it was yesterday – it was 8.30am 12th June.

Paul was driving a four-and-a-half-ton truck on a dual carriageway when his head started to get fuzzy, and a tingling sensation ran down his arm.

He knew it was a stroke and had to make a split-second to decide what to do. Paul felt that he couldn't pull over, as no one would find him, he couldn't make a phone call as his arm was paralysed - so he chose to drive on.

Paul made it back to the depot driving very slowly, occasionally he stalled the truck, but he made it. By this time, he no longer had the use of his left arm and leg, so the guys at the depot lifted him out of the truck and called an ambulance.

I was at home when I got the call. I raced to the hospital and arrived minutes before he was brought in and taken for a CT scan. It had all happened quickly, so Paul was within the timeframe to receive treatment.

But after having clot busting (tPA) medication Paul's face was still drooping, his eyes were going in different directions, and I couldn’t understand him as his speech was so slurred. He started vomiting and he was taken back for an MRI.

We found out that the clot was, and is, lodged at the base of his brain, the neurologist told us that the clot won’t move, so Paul is now on multiple medications, including blood thinners, for the rest of his life.

Paul was left with physical disabilities which for an active man like my husband was beyond frustrating. He had to start again and build up the mobility and strength to do many of the basic activities we take for granted. The stroke also impacted him emotionally, but I believe Paul protected me from some of what he was feeling.

Stroke comes out of the blue; you have no time to prepare. I was deeply affected by watching my husband struggle. I also learned very quickly that you must throw yourself fully into your new support role. You become a combination of advocate, supporter wife and carer.

Paul was in hospital for two weeks and thrust himself straight into rehabilitation. I am deeply proud of how wholly committed he was. Paul took every one of his sessions and took the spare sessions when other people didn't want them.

Then once home, he had physiotherapy and occupational therapy visits three times a week. We had been told that you make the most gains in the first 6 months – we weren't going to miss a minute.

I took video of most of Paul's sessions from day one to track his progress. If Paul feels he’s not getting any better, we go through the videos together. Often very small improvements happen which without the footage we might have overlooked. It is wonderful when suddenly Paul realises he's able to do something he couldn't do the week before, and his physios love to watch them too.

The stroke has changed our lives completely, but we have come to accept the challenges and alter our expectations.

We are a team Paul and I, and I have realised that as a wife my support is vitally important. It could be difficult because I found early on that we butted heads a lot. There were a lot of negativities for a period, and it’s hard to deal with as you are both grieving. Paul used to call me names and tell me that my helmet (military) was slipping. We both could find humor in the situation which was a blessing.

Paul’s stroke has changed our lives, but we have come to accept the challenges. It’s a long, hard road. But you need to stay positive and find your new normal. Five years later, Paul is still making gains and will continue to well into the future.