Having my baby after a stroke
By Letisha
I had a stroke in 2012, I was a young and relatively fit woman, it was sudden and unexpected.
I didn’t suspect that I was having a stroke, I thought it was a severe migraine. Unfortunately, it wasn’t.
A decade ago, there wasn’t a big focus on younger people having strokes and I feel this delayed my diagnosis and treatment. There was a four-day gap between having a thunderclap headache and starting treatment for my stroke. I saw three different doctors, none of whom even considered stroke.
The stroke impacted my vision leaving me with visual field deficit and hemiparesis. I have not been able to drive since having my stroke. The fatigue was, and still is, overwhelming. Fatigue can take over my body and my mind, it’s like living in a fog. My mind is active and thinks I should be doing things, but my body just wants to lie down.
On top of that my identity was obliterated. I was a career woman and mum of three, then after stroke I was a patient, victim, and survivor. I now viewed my life as before my stroke and post stroke.
I had three older children and I found out I was pregnant two months after my stroke. I was told that I may not be able to go through with the pregnancy as it was deemed too high risk. My cardiologist, neurologist and endocrinologist discussed my pregnancy, and I was cleared to go ahead at 12 weeks, but as a high-risk pregnancy. I would need regular checkups and I would deliver my baby via a c-section.
Even though I was given the go-ahead, I felt unsettled about bringing another child into the world as I was uncertain about my own future. I worried that I could have another stroke, and if I did, would I survive another stroke?
I felt like I was failing as a person and as a parent. I knew I loved my children deeply, but I wasn't seeing my picture of what our lives would or should look like. I came to accept that my children were not judging me, they did not seem to notice my disabilities. I was my own worst critic, and I was harbouring a lot of unnecessary guilt.
I owe a huge 'thank you' to all my children. They inspired me to be resilient because kids don't stop for stroke. I needed to be strong for them and in turn that was the best thing for me.
They taught me to let go of what I thought our family should look like and embrace living with love, gratitude and acceptance.
