I had two strokes about three years apart

By Tracey Farnsworth

In November 2012, I was at work on a conference call with a co-worker. He noticed that I didn’t sound right and asked me to stay on the call.

I was feeling quite distressed but was trying to forge ahead with the meeting. But after a few minutes my head seemed like it would explode, and my right side felt like it had turned to rubble and fallen away.

My co-worker called someone else to come into my office and check on me. I tried to explain what was happening, but I couldn't speak. An ambulance was called and within 30 minutes I was in the emergency room at the Epworth Hospital.

Tests showed that I had had a hemorrhagic stroke (bleed) in the lower left side of my brain. I spent 38 days in hospital and many, many months in rehab.

I was left with balance, movement and communication challenges. One day I was at the top of my game! A great job, amazing career and then nothing, I worked out very quickly that I was replaceable. But with the help of family and friends and relying on my independent nature I was in a good place.

Then, just over 3 and a half years later, I was in India at a friend's wedding when my second stroke occurred.

It was the longest flight that I had made since my stroke. I had taken all the precautions that were given by my doctors, but it seems like it wasn't enough. Because the day after I landed in Bangalore, I had another stroke.

I was at a hotel with other guests of the wedding. I woke at 3am with pain in my head. I went to the bathroom to look at myself in the mirror and I was showing some of the F.A.S.T. signs of stroke. My arm was weak and I couldn't lift it, and my speech was slurred.

Being in a foreign country, I had no idea what to do or where to go. The groom's family were happy to organise a private doctor to come see me, but I declined the offer.

I didn't want to disappoint the wedding party, I knew it was a stroke, but I thought if my symptoms get any worse, I will deal with it then. So, I stayed in bed for most of the next four days, going only to the most important parts of the celebration.

When we got back to Australia a week later, I went straight back to Epworth. I was diagnosed with an ischemic stroke (clot) in the right frontal lobe. Further tests discovered a hole in my heart, and I had a PFO.

My world had changed not once but twice.

I have had many 'new normals' since 2012, but the adjusting was challenging. I lost my independence and my ability to drive a car for 12 months. I was shocked and disappointed at how people responded to me after my stroke. On public transport I was yelled at and told to move out of disabled seats because I didn't look disabled enough. But at the same time told I looked drunk because I had lost my ability to balance myself. Ridiculous.

But each day I aimed to be a better version of myself than the day before, and that mantra has helped me to make many gains and reach my goals.

One of those aspirations was to find new meaning in my life and I did!

I started a charity in Vanuatu called Progress Pikinini (meaning child in Bislama). Through Rotary and other avenues, we fundraise to support children with educational tools, books, clothes, toys, and infrastructure desperately needed in the villages, including water tanks.

I am proud of the fact that I never give in. I find creative ways to get things done and I accept myself!

Lessons that I have learned:

1. Losing the ability to write is a pain. I will never look at a paper form in the same way again.
2. You must advocate for yourself. If you can't advocate in the health system, or have people around you who have those skills, you can get further behind.
3. All strokes and hence the journey after is different. Being kind and helping others where you can make an enormous difference.
4. A growth mindset is valuable.