Life on the Bed with Desney

Desney King experienced three strokes over two years, the third stroke in 2014. Since then, fatigue, mobility and balance challenges have meant she spends most of her time propped up on pillows on her bed. She’s had several more strokes since then, each causing further setbacks.

Before her first stroke in 2012, Desney was a devoted mother and highly regarded book editor and lecturer, eagerly anticipating a busy and fulfilling retirement. Though her strokes changed that path, they did not take away her passion for life and for storytelling. She is now a grandmother, and published author. She is also pouring her heart into writing her memoir and sharing her journey Life on the Bed with Desney on Instagram and Facebook — a raw and genuine glimpse into her life after stroke.

Desney has opened a window into her world, and we look forward to sharing more of her experiences and insights with you. Follow along on Instagram at @desneykingauthor.

By Desney

"Thursday 23 February 2012 started out like any other day: I woke early, wrote my morning pages, drank tea, saw my daughter off to work, then settled down at the desk in my bedroom to write an editorial report for the manuscript I’d just assessed. I was immersed in the words, glued to my keyboard and screen, deep in concentration when suddenly, a hideous, lava-heavy energy flooded through me from the top of my head, down through my body and out through my feet, taking with it every ounce of my energy. The right half of my upper lip went completely numb. And instantly I thought: ‘I’m having a stroke!’

Then: ‘But I refuse to have a stroke. I refuse to be one of those old ladies with a pill box sectioned into the days of the week. And anyway, I have a deadline to meet; I’ll be finished this report in an hour. Whatever’s going on, I’ll think about it then.’

But oh my god, I felt awful! All I wanted to do was lie down on the bed, but I had the strongest intuition that if I did, I’d never get up. That my daughter would come home in the evening and find me dead. So I must have managed, somehow, to stay slumped in my chair.

I recall that I felt lucid, yet now know that I must have been in a highly confused state; and that this is typical of many people in the throes of having a stroke.

Befuddled as to how paramedics could access my fifth floor apartment in a security building, I called my children and my son (who worked nearby) arrived quickly, helped me into my car and drove me the few kilometres to our local hospital where I was admitted to the stroke ward.

Nine days later, I was sent home with various medications and access to a hospital discharge team for six weeks.

At the age of sixty, all my facades had been stripped away, along with my old life and any plans I’d had.

But I was alive! So grateful to be alive. And determined to use my long-term meditation and healing practices to aid my recovery and to live my best life with whatever capacity I still had.

It’s been a long journey, lived mainly in the moment, meeting the many ups and downs with acceptance and optimism; clear about wanting to be here with my children (and now, my grandchildren) for as long as possible and to keep making a contribution to the community."