Mandy Bowler my stroke story

I was a forty-four year old busy mother of two teenagers when I suffered a stroke. Unfortunately at that time I was also a heavy smoker.

I knew the signs of a stroke from seeing the FAST advertisement years before my stroke. I was also the first person on the scene when a customer where I work was having a stroke - only about a month before mine.  The customer was an extremely elderly lady and she showed all the classic signs of stroke; her life was saved by our quick thinking. 

When I had my stroke, I was counting the money from one of the registers (I work at Big W), I noticed that when I was flicking the money it kept dropping out of my hand. I was with a very young checkout operator, when I went to speak to her my words came out in a jumble. She just kept looking at me strangely. It's at this moment I knew what was happening and that I had to get to the front of the store to get some help. I had the register money in a canister which I put it under my other arm so that I wouldn't lose the takings for the day.

When I got to the front of the store it was only ten minutes before closing, so everyone was busy. I sat on a small stool and tried to attract someone’s attention – I was struggling to move or speak.

Finally a staff member noticed me sitting there. I was the service supervisor in charge of all the staff, I should have been helping them close up. One staff memeber came over and asked if I was ok? I shook my head - I couldn’t speak. She asked again, I again shook my head, I was asked if I wanted her to call someone. I put my left hand up and twirled my finger in the air, like an emergency alarm. Although my movements were confusing I was asked if I needed an ambulance - YES! I gave a big thumbs up. 

Paramedics arrived soon after, I knew the team being from a very small country town. The paramedics took me to the local hospital and asked if they had tPA (clot busting medication)? NO our hospital didn't. Deb my paramedic wheeled me straight back out the door and said to me “get ready for a quick ride!”

Quick indeed – within sixty minutes I was being wheeled into emergency at Monash Medical Centre, in time to receive lifesaving clot busting medication.

Unfortunately I have had a few clots over the years from having been a heavy smoker and having what my haematologist referred to as ‘sticky blood’. 

After my stroke I have had some difficulties reading, especially a book. It is a shame, as I was an avid reader, now I have no interest. Sometimes late at night I slur my words if I am tired, I suffered from depression, mood changes, a very short temper and memory issues. But on the up side, I have never touched a cigarette again!

Since my stroke I try to help others in my town. I share tips about the practical things after stroke – stuff you don’t get told. Practical things like dealing with menstruation and personal hygiene. It always surprises people how the simple things can get really complicated – everyday stuff that others don’t have to think about. 

Nothing is off limits with me, people can ask whatever they want. I even explain that if you have arm paralysis and you can’t wipe your own bottom, if you feel you haven't wiped properly, just have a quick shower. Dignity can be lost pretty quickly after stroke and it can be humiliating.

Family and partners of stroke patients are in shock after a stroke, everyone’s lives are turned upside down – it’s so sudden. I remind them that their loved one may understand everything they’re saying but they sometimes can't communicate back. They’re still there listening so please treat them normally. Tell them the news, talk about family, tell them sports scores, don't hide anything and be open about everything. I had fantastic staff look after me, although I did have one nurse who when she spoke to me, talked very loudly. I wanted to say "I'm not deaf - I've had a stroke, I'm not stupid.”

I feel extremely lucky, I have the most amazing husband who is my hero! He was amazing after my stroke. He never let me down, and he was there for the highs and the lows. I realise I wasn't always easy, but he found ways to still be a family – our family. 

As I was having trouble with short term memory my husband made a board so everyone in the family wrote where they were going, and what they were doing for the week. As my kids were teens it saved me asking the same things ten times a day, and have them roll their eyes each time I asked! In our walk in robe he put a set of drawers, and numbered them one to six. 1. Undies, 2. Bra. 3. Leggings. I couldn’t dress myself but I felt more in control, I had trouble working out what and where everything was, but our numbering system made it easier.

I count my lucky stars every day, we tell people about the signs of stroke (FAST) as often as we can, and share on Facebook – hopefully we can save another person’s life.