My promise to my family

By Nicole

I was 22-weeks pregnant and home alone when I had a severe headache on March 19, 2020.

I tried to call my husband Dave, we are both teachers, but he was unable to answer his phone as he was in class.

I called my parents, I was terrified, I was losing my speech and I could no longer stand – I collapsed mid-call.

They called an ambulance and two ambulances rushed to the house and had to break through the side door of the house to get to me.

I was rushed to hospital where it was discovered that I had an AVM (an abnormal mass) on my brain. It had erupted.

My family was told that I may not make it through to the morning. Dave faced the prospect of losing both his wife and child.

Devastatingly, our baby boy, Ned didn’t make it through the stroke. He was stillborn - too little to make it.

After the surgery I was in a coma for six days. Then, a week later, the tubes were taken out of my throat, and Dave was able to tell me that we’d lost Ned.

I cannot fully fathom what Dave had to go through, those early days were horrific for everyone, but Dave had to hold it together for us all, it’s unbearable to think about.

After the stroke I had to learn how to eat, talk and walk again. I spent many months in rehab, and it has been a long road back, but as we know life has a way of surprising you. We found out that we were expecting another baby a year and a bit after the stroke, and Gus came into our lives.

Holding Gus in my arms for the first time, I was absolutely overwhelmed by love. I promised myself that I would be the best mother that I could be. My focus is for Gus to grow up in a happy and loving family, and to one day know that he has a big brother called Ned.

Being a mother is the best thing that I have ever done in my life, and although sometimes frustrated with my limitations, I have found a way around most of them.

Here is what I have learned. I hope that it may help another family who are parenting after the trauma of stroke.