My stroke has no known cause

It was the morning of April 27, 2019, when I had a stroke.

I was a young mum of two very small children, and I was on the phone talking to my dad when it happened. I felt something weird go in my brain, and I could no longer speak. I tried to tell dad but ended up just hanging up.

I was anxious but did not panic until I found my husband in the bathroom changing nappies. I tried to talk to him but couldn’t. At first, he thought I was joking until he saw my face had drooped.

He called triple 000 immediately who went through the F.A.S.T. test with him. My symptoms ticked most of the common signs of stroke, and my vision was starting to get blurry as well.

We were both shocked that the triple 000 call-taker was thinking it could be a stroke, but as I started googling the symptoms, I just knew.

Two ambulances were dispatched, but the paramedics questioned stroke, because I was so young, only 32 yo, and healthy. In the rush of being checked by the ambulance team and looking after my babies, I began to question my symptoms,

At the hospital, I was seen by a telestroke specialist who ordered a CT scan, which unfortunately didn’t pick up the stroke. I was very uneasy with that diagnosis, I thought it was more likely a stroke, but what do you say?

Three days later I had an MRI which confirmed my worst fears.

I didn’t know at time that about 30 percent of strokes happen to younger people, I thought I was alone and to make matters worse, my stroke was cryptogenic - no known cause.

I was given therapy for my speech, and psychological support. My emotions were all over the place, but I don’t feel like the counselling worked for me. I had lost a bit of trust and I didn’t feel like the psychologist understood or could relate to me. I still feel like there needs to be better training of health staff around young stroke.

My youngest child was only 4-months old, so I was in hospital expressing milk during my stay, I didn’t want either of my children being impacted by my stroke. My husband was carrying bottles and formula too from the hospital. I couldn’t wait to get home, but I was very, very anxious.

My stroke left me with mostly hidden disabilities and impacted my emotions greatly. In the early months after stroke, I suffered panic attacks. These were scary for me and my family. We were all on edge, it was lucky that my children were so small that they didn’t know what was happening.

I ended up having to find my own way though my emotions. I learned how to manage my feelings, including breath techniques such as breathing in and out on the count of four, listening to podcasts and music, getting plenty of sleep, and walking with my children.

I have mostly learned how to manage anxiety, but I still get a facial droop when I am sad. I also have a slight fear of talking on the phone, I think it takes me back to when my stroke happened.

There is still no known reason for my stroke, but I think it is because I had pre-eclampsia and high blood pressure during my second pregnancy.

Four years on, I have mostly accepted the stroke and its impact on my daily life. My children are thriving, my family is healthy, and I am proud of how we have all coped.

Mostly I am thankful that I am still here, things could have been a lot worse.

Alanna with her family