Never compare yourself to others

By Elissa

I had lost my boyfriend one month earlier to a heart attack, he was only 27. His younger sister was having a fancy-dress party for her birthday, the theme was ‘pimps and hoes.’ A friend picked me up, I was wearing fishnet stockings, knee high boots and heavy makeup. We had just pulled up to the party when I experienced a head spin. My friend suggested we go to a nearby service station and grab a bottle of water, but I couldn’t unscrew the cap. That’s when I knew something serious was going on and I should get to a hospital.

I arrived at hospital at 7:45pm. The first doctor did several neurological tests on me including and ECG. But after shift change a second doctor did the same tests on me. I think they thought I was on drugs because of what I was wearing. A nurse finally started to take me seriously and I was admitted about 2AM.

I spent eight weeks in hospital and had a great allied health team. I also had access to hydrotherapy which was amazing.

At first I couldn’t walk unaided and felt very fatigued. I worked hard so I didn’t need a wheelchair or walking stick and eventually learned to walk again with the help of my personal trainer. After six months I also got my driver’s licence back which was great for my independence.

I went back to work, but answering phones and typing was a challenge as I need to use my right hand regularly. Cooking is also still a challenge, I struggle trying to hold onto things and not cut my fingers off!

Stairs are my nemesis, I struggle to get up and down them unless there is a rail. Shoes are a close second, I still have issues with the control of my left foot which can sometimes slip out. I used to really love heels, so it took me a long time to get rid of them.

My emotions are the thing I struggle with the most. I might look normal but I know I won’t physically or mentally be the same ever again.

I met my now-husband Pascal on a dating website. We were very honest with each other, but we hit it off straight away. We had an amazing wedding weekend at Adora Downs at Mt Tyson. The bad weather held off for a spectacular and sunny afternoon. We even set up a video call so we could livestream the ceremony to Pascal’s parents in Switzerland.

My message to others is to never give up. It will be tiring and hard and frustrating and there may even be times you would rather stay in bed and cry. Work with your therapists, invest in something you enjoy doing that doesn’t involve the things you have lost. I have finally picked up a paint brush and I love it.

Lastly, don’t compare yourself or let anyone get to you. It’s your journey and we are all different.