I will never forget my precious Nonna and Poppy Sam

By Elyse Cumine

I want to share my story to honour my grandparents, who hold a dear place in my heart, and to capture their amazing life and spirit. Nonna and Poppy Sam suffered devastating strokes, four years apart. Stroke can be cruel, and take loved ones away from us suddenly, long before we are ready to say goodbye. They both spent their final days in the same hospital and in the same stroke ward, but my memories of them will live forever.  

Nonna and Poppy Sam were born and raised in Sicily. Here they found each other, fell in love, married and had two children – my father and his sister. It was the 1950s and Poppy Sam worked on a farm. Life was tough in a small town, and he was determined to create better opportunities for his young family. 

Poppy Sam bravely boarded a ship and set sail for Australia, leaving his loved ones behind while he put all of his energy into establishing a new life. He eventually settled in Brisbane and worked hard as a labourer and later as a truck driver. Poppy Sam learnt English and became part of his new community. Some years later, Nonna and the kids joined him. 

Poppy Sam and Nonna were happy in Australia, but their new life brought challenges as they did not have any family support. They both worked to make ends meet. Nonna worked in factories and later in a restaurant, and also made clothes for her family. She had an incredible talent for seamstress work and cross stitch. Later in her life, she donated much of her work to charity.

While Australia did open up opportunities, it was Nonna and Poppy Sam who made their migration a success with their selfless attitude and incredibly strong work ethic. After years of hard work, sacrifice and saving, they were able to buy a big beautiful home that was Poppy Sam’s pride and joy. It was the most tangible symbol of their success in Australia. My dad and his sister came to Australia not knowing how to speak English, but soon both were excelling at school and went on to become incredibly successful in their chosen careers. 

I grew up living interstate to my grandparents (first in the ACT, then in Victoria), but this did not stop us from seeing them regularly. My brother and I would visit them in Brisbane on school holidays, and they occasionally boarded the interstate bus and made the trek down south to see us. Looking back, these bring a smile to my face. They are very happy memories, being on the coast, road tripping with them and enjoying Nonna’s amazing Italian cooking! 

In 2013, Nonna and Poppy Sam were so excited that their only granddaughter (me!) was about to be married. They had tickets to fly to Melbourne a few days before the wedding. I remember being in a meeting at work when my Mum called. Mum never calls me at work, so I instantly knew something was wrong. She told me Poppy Sam had suffered a stroke. I didn’t really know what a stroke was or what it meant for Poppy Sam. It was so sudden and out of the blue. It was a terrible shock for us all. 

Dad flew straight to Brisbane where Poppy Sam was not in a good condition. It was such an emotional time. We didn’t know if Poppy Sam would survive, and Dad was torn between being there for his father and being there for me. At one point, we didn’t know if he would make it back to walk me down the aisle.

Although we considered postponing, we ended up going ahead with the wedding. Dad flew back the night before, and Nonna flew down and back just for the day. I can’t imagine how difficult that must have been for her. Her heart must have been torn in two pieces. 

In the early hours of the following day, Poppy Sam sadly passed away. We think he was waiting to hear that the wedding had all gone well before he left us. It was a difficult time for Nonna, but she was strong and never complained. Nonna was a very resilient woman, with lots of friends and an active social life. My husband travelled a lot for work. He loved surprising her and taking her out for afternoon tea or lunch when in Brisbane. Those visits meant so much to her and to the family.

After a few years, Nonna moved to a retirement village close to the family home. On Sunday 15th October 2017, we received a phone call out of the blue. Nonna was eating lunch at the village when she slumped over; she had also suffered a stroke. The staff were incredibility helpful and she was rushed to hospital.

My family dropped everything to fly to Brisbane to be by her side. We were now well aware of the impact of stroke. There was a disturbing sense of déjà vu, as she was in the same ward that her husband had been in, just over 4 years prior. When we arrived that night, she was still talking a little bit, but the next day she was only able to squeeze our hands, before slipping into a coma. 

We did not know how long she would survive, and as each day passed it became more upsetting to visit her. I made the heartbreaking decision to fly back to Melbourne for my husband’s birthday and a friend’s wedding, knowing that the moment I walked out of Nonna’s room I would never see her again. 

She looked like she was sleeping, and I hope she heard me tell her how much I loved her and how proud I was of her. She was a strong, bold woman with a heart of gold. I am forever grateful I had the opportunity to say goodbye. 

After I left the hospital, I was a mess. I remember waiting at the airport for my flight back to Melbourne shedding buckets of tears. A waitress quietly slipped a serviette by my side. On it she had written “whatever you are going through, it will get better.” It was an incredible act of kindness and I have kept it to this day. 

We lost Nonna a few days later. 

As I once again wipe my tears away, I know how difficult it can be to lose a loved one to stroke – even many years on. I miss them. Poppy Sam and Nonna came to Australia for a better life and they never returned to Sicily. They gave me and my family an opportunity to fulfil our hopes and dreams. They were wonderful people – the best. 

Remember, if you need to talk to someone, StrokeLine is available on 1800 787 653. 

Our team can help you find the support and services you need, whether you are a stroke survivor, carer or family member.