The new year

New Year’s Day. By Tracey Laverick

For most, the promise of good things to come. 

We feel that way too, but it’s hard not to take some time to reflect on the significance of the day to us.

January 1, 2021, marks ten years since that fateful day when Mark had a catastrophic stroke which changed the course of our lives.

Gone are the plans, goals and dreams that we had. Things such as, where we would see ourselves in 2021, and plans we had as a family. Certainly not where we are now.

I grieve the loss of my old life. I grieve the husband I had and the conversations we can no longer have. The plans we can't make. Sometimes, but not often, I miss the friends that have disappeared - the ones that found it too hard or uncomfortable.

But, if I stop and dwell on the “what could have been”, it would be a sad life.

On this day I allow myself the time to have a cup of coffee - something I learned early in this journey. I wallow and I take a moment. After that it’s time to put my big girl pants back on.

I want to reflect on the things that are good, the things that make it ok. The parts that are not only good, but great and very positive.

And I think of Mark, he’s had the biggest loss of all but he doesn’t complain.

I stop and think about what an awesome man I’m married to. How he has the biggest smile and most positive attitude of anyone I’ve ever met. How he continues to strive for improvement (not that he isn’t perfect just the way he is) so he can continue to kick goals.

I think of all the special friends that I have now. The ones that wouldn’t have been part of our lives if it wasn't for stroke. These days I just can't imagine life without them.

I think of the friends that include me in their travel plans, even when I can’t, but they still ask. I thank them for that.

Mark’s special friends, his mates, the ones that call in and have a drink with him. The ones that know fake bourbon still gives him a “dusty” morning.

I think of our families. Wow, where do I start. Their love, and support, and the list of things that they have done for us over the years, is endless.

For example, in the early days when I could only leave the house three hours a week, they managed to get Sam, our daughter, to swimming, dancing, school, home, to collect from school if sick, play dates and all her extra-curricular activities.

They’d hang with Mark as times improved to allow me to attend these things myself.

Modified Hawks Nest worked tirelessly so that Christmases could be celebrated together. They took Sam on holidays and camping (something I’m not sure I’d have ever done!). They helped with driving lessons, bought groceries, gave me company, and for basically anything that was needed they stepped in and helped out.

Finally, to our 'Team Laverick' support workers and therapists. You keep me sane, you keep Mark on track and adjust so easily to the swings and roundabouts that life throws us.

We have many, many things to be grateful for, and after “coffee time” that’s exactly where our focus will be.

We will make plans. We will set goals. Most importantly we will be grateful.

Thank you, you’ve all helped us on this journey, we are very appreciative of your support.

Happy New Year. May 2021 bring love, peace and happiness to you all.