404 brain not found

By Piers

Hi, my name is Piers Grove and I'm a founder, publisher and managing director, as well as being a dad to two young kids.

In March 2022, I'd just been named Managing Director of Australian Geographic. I had a lot going on and was working hard. Then everything changed.

One morning I had a massive stroke.

I was woken at 6.30 a.m. by my daughter jumping on me in bed, as they do, and I stirred with what seemed like one heck of a hangover.

I was fairly non-responsive. I could certainly move, and I could think, but I could not stand up without support and I had the classic face hanging down or facial droop.

It was obvious to my fiancé that I was having a stroke, and an ambulance was called. I had time to get dressed and to assess my symptoms in isolation.

I was dribbling, I was not able to swallow properly, and my speech was jumbled and slurred.

I couldn't get out proper nouns for my kids or my partner.

I could barely communicate with the brilliant paramedics who got me off to the hospital within 15 minutes of the call.

When I got to the hospital I first into emergency on a stretcher from the back of the ambulance.

I was put into a crash bay, which is, as I understand, the highest place for emergency operations. I was surrounded by car crash victims, and I was attended to by a doctor. It was shocking.

That all came to a sudden stop when I tested positive for COVID-19. I had had COVID the week before and I'd taken the 10 days off work and had tested negative with a RAT test.

I was shifted to the COVID ward in emergency, which was a deeply unpleasant place where doctors did not visit because they had to put on their PPE gear. It was mainly nursing support delivered to patients.

I was treated by an emergency doctor who treated the blockage in my brain (ischemic stroke) effectively, which gave me a greater level of confidence.

After treatment;

I was able to read text messages on my phone.

I was able to talk over the phone.

I still had very little idea of time.

And it was terrifying, I was sitting there in a hospital in isolation for 14 hours before they got me into the stroke unit.

After the stroke;

I could not name anything.

Everyone got the nickname doctor for the first week.

I called my fiancé ‘wife’ and the kids were ‘kids’.

But I was aware of it, and I was aware that I was right on the precipice of a serious disability, one that would prevent me from working again and would probably see me in a nursing home for the rest of my life. I lay there staring out the window at the ducks and being visited by well-meaning people on a schedule.

I thought that the stroke had been healed, that the blockage was gone, that the blood would be flowing back into that part of my brain, and it would start working.

But it didn't happen.

It's almost like the lights went off and I had to reestablish new ways of turning it on.

As part of my recovery and to fill in some of the gaps that I experienced as a younger person, I have started a podcast – 404 Brain not Found.