Approaching my two year stroke anniversary

As I approach my 2-year stroke anniversary, I’ve been thinking about how much life has changed since my Intracerebral Hemorrhage (ICH) and double aneurysm caused by Fibromuscular Dysplasia (FMD). Before the stroke, my life was a blur of work, stress, and unhealthy habits. Then, out of nowhere, I lost feeling in my left arm. Everything after that was a blur—doctors even told my family and friends to say goodbye. When I woke up in the hospital, I didn’t know what had happened or what the future held.

Recovery has been a rollercoaster. I had to relearn basic things—how to move, how to think. The fatigue and brain fog were overwhelming, and accepting the "new me" has been tough. Progress has come slowly, with lots of ups and downs, but I’ve learned to find strength in the small victories.

Rehabilitation has been my lifeline. I found an amazing online stroke group (Facebook) where I connected with other survivors and learned about therapies that helped me—exercise physiology, physical therapy, psychology, and even oxygen therapy. My rehab team, family and friends have been incredible, and I’m beyond grateful.

Despite everything, the stroke has given me a new appreciation for life. I document my progress to remind myself of how far I’ve come, no matter how small the breakthrough. I’ve learned to slow down, listen to my body, and let go of the small stuff. The hardest part is living with fear and anxiety—wondering if it will happen again. But looking forward is the only way through.

On the outside I seem unchanged. But inside I have experienced profound shifts that have altered who I am. It's hard for people to grasp the depth of these changes and people continue to perceive me as I once was. This has been one of the hardest, scariest, and loneliest experiences of my life. Sometimes I wonder, "Why me?" But then I think, "Why not me?" No one deserves this, but I’ve realised that even though I sometimes feel stuck, life is still precious.