Happiness
January 07, 2014
Annoyingly elusive for many, happiness can be a rare state following a brain injury [or stroke], not only for the person who has acquired it, but often their partner, family and carers suffer as well.
Understanding and seeking happiness can be a proactive way to fight the depression and despair that can encroach on our lives.
What makes people happy?
If money doesn’t buy happiness, what does? Recent research asked people this very question and came up with the following sources of happiness:
Relationship with children
Friends and friendships
Improving the lives of others
Relationship with partner and romance
Degree of control over one’s life
Doing fun things in one’s leisure time
Relationship with parents
Spiritual life
Holidays.
Bring on Charlie Chaplin
It’s true, laughter can often be the best medicine. But often there is little to laugh about after a brain injury or stroke. A common after- effect can be a difficulty grasping humour as it involves surprisingly complex cognitive skills to appreciate irony and sarcasm. Some will find they have regained an appreciation for slap-stick comedy and it may be worth seeking movies with a simpler approach to getting laughs. Every time we laugh it triggers all sorts of neurotransmitters in our brain that fight off the negative thoughts.
This chemical boost is so effective that laughing groups have formed because even forcing laughter seems to trigger a chemical avalanche that leads to true mirth.
What’s happy according to psychologists
If money doesn’t bring happiness, what does? Commit random acts of kindness — being generous and being thanked by others always boosts chemicals in the brain that will cause you to smile.
Focus on enjoyable moments. There are always positive things happening that we take for granted — the taste of a cool drink after exercise, sun on the skin during winter, the tang of a good Thai curry. Don’t take these for granted!
List the good things that happen to you. Every day write down a few things you are thankful for, even if it is only a lack of torture or starvation in your life.
Look at practical ways to reduce stress and difficulties in your life. As the old prayer suggests, use your strength to change the things you can, and your patience to accept the things you can’t change.
Forgive others. Don’t hold on to bitterness as this will usually only hurt you.
Spend time with friends and family. Research consistently shows that this is far more important to your happiness than money, status or even good health.
Thank others who have helped you, or been an inspiration. They’ll be pleasantly surprised and it will develop a happily positive nature within.
Work out the new you
There are many changes after a brain injury [or stroke], and these often involved the personality. Everyone, including the survivor, may wonder who this new person is, and often have trouble accepting the new identity. This is particularly the case when many of the changes may be for the worse.
How we see ourselves is an integral part of our happiness. One of the most challenging tasks is learning to accept this post-injury identity, and where possible appreciate the new aspects it brings.
This, of course, can be a huge challenge. For someone with debilitating fatigue, it may be learning to smell the roses and learning to find self-fulfillment in things that don’t require achievement through employment. For those who struggle with anger or poor social skills, it may be working hard at self-development and then passing on their hard-won experience to others.
In fact, many who have survived a brain injury [or stroke] find that helping others who are new to this disability brings a huge sense of satisfaction and happiness. It may provide some sense of meaning as to why this injury occurred (it allows you to help others). It will help take the focus off yourself, and research consistently shows that selflessness has strong links with happiness.
Finally, you will inevitably encounter those who have it worse than you (in a coma for example) which helps in realising maybe your situation is not so bad.
Article originally printed in Synapse Bridge Magazine Volume 13
Understanding and seeking happiness can be a proactive way to fight the depression and despair that can encroach on our lives.
What makes people happy?
If money doesn’t buy happiness, what does? Recent research asked people this very question and came up with the following sources of happiness:
Relationship with children
Friends and friendships
Improving the lives of others
Relationship with partner and romance
Degree of control over one’s life
Doing fun things in one’s leisure time
Relationship with parents
Spiritual life
Holidays.
Bring on Charlie Chaplin
It’s true, laughter can often be the best medicine. But often there is little to laugh about after a brain injury or stroke. A common after- effect can be a difficulty grasping humour as it involves surprisingly complex cognitive skills to appreciate irony and sarcasm. Some will find they have regained an appreciation for slap-stick comedy and it may be worth seeking movies with a simpler approach to getting laughs. Every time we laugh it triggers all sorts of neurotransmitters in our brain that fight off the negative thoughts.
This chemical boost is so effective that laughing groups have formed because even forcing laughter seems to trigger a chemical avalanche that leads to true mirth.
What’s happy according to psychologists
If money doesn’t bring happiness, what does? Commit random acts of kindness — being generous and being thanked by others always boosts chemicals in the brain that will cause you to smile.
Focus on enjoyable moments. There are always positive things happening that we take for granted — the taste of a cool drink after exercise, sun on the skin during winter, the tang of a good Thai curry. Don’t take these for granted!
List the good things that happen to you. Every day write down a few things you are thankful for, even if it is only a lack of torture or starvation in your life.
Look at practical ways to reduce stress and difficulties in your life. As the old prayer suggests, use your strength to change the things you can, and your patience to accept the things you can’t change.
Forgive others. Don’t hold on to bitterness as this will usually only hurt you.
Spend time with friends and family. Research consistently shows that this is far more important to your happiness than money, status or even good health.
Thank others who have helped you, or been an inspiration. They’ll be pleasantly surprised and it will develop a happily positive nature within.
Work out the new you
There are many changes after a brain injury [or stroke], and these often involved the personality. Everyone, including the survivor, may wonder who this new person is, and often have trouble accepting the new identity. This is particularly the case when many of the changes may be for the worse.
How we see ourselves is an integral part of our happiness. One of the most challenging tasks is learning to accept this post-injury identity, and where possible appreciate the new aspects it brings.
This, of course, can be a huge challenge. For someone with debilitating fatigue, it may be learning to smell the roses and learning to find self-fulfillment in things that don’t require achievement through employment. For those who struggle with anger or poor social skills, it may be working hard at self-development and then passing on their hard-won experience to others.
In fact, many who have survived a brain injury [or stroke] find that helping others who are new to this disability brings a huge sense of satisfaction and happiness. It may provide some sense of meaning as to why this injury occurred (it allows you to help others). It will help take the focus off yourself, and research consistently shows that selflessness has strong links with happiness.
Finally, you will inevitably encounter those who have it worse than you (in a coma for example) which helps in realising maybe your situation is not so bad.
Article originally printed in Synapse Bridge Magazine Volume 13