I survived for my kids

By Catrina

My name is Catrina, I am 43 years old and a mum of two beautiful children.

In 2018, I was at a motorsport event in Adelaide with my then fiancé and my kids when I started getting a headache.

Headaches are nothing out of the ordinary for me, so I dismissed it, but as the day went on my headache got progressively worse.

I went to change my daughter's nappy when my vision began to blur but I figured it was simply a migraine.

We decided to go home as I was in so much pain. On the way home in the car, the pain began to move down the right side of my face. This was a symptom that I hadn't had before but with very young children, I had no time to do anything about it, except take strong painkillers.

I went through the night with my daughters' regular feeds and began to feel a bit better. But the following morning, my baby daughter slipped off my lap when I was breastfeeding.

My left side was numb and not working, but I was just focused on my daughter and if she was alright, I managed to get her back on my lap. My fiancé came in to check why my daughter was crying and put her in her crib. I went to get up and collapsed onto the floor, I couldn't move, and my speech was slurred.

An ambulance was called immediately.

I remember the paramedics arriving, but they couldn't get the stretcher to me, so the fire brigade was called to get me out of the house. I tried to say goodbye to the kids, but I couldn't. As a mother, not being able to speak and say goodbye to your children, when you think you may die, is beyond traumatic.

I woke up in hospital a few days later.

Scans showed that I had had a massive stroke on the right side of my brain due to a blood clot from my neck. I believe it was due to a deep tissue massage which I had a few days earlier.

My brain was continuing to swell so to relieve pressure, I had a craniectomy. Part of my skull was removed and placed in a freezer until ready to reattach – I wore a medical helmet to protect my brain.

I was in hospital for weeks. I had physios trying to help me move, and speech pathologists helping me to swallow. It was a blur of people coming in and out, my family and friends, and health professionals. I couldn't swallow. So was fed by a tube and could only suck on ice chips so that I didn't choke.

My breast milk started to dry up, it was the end of motherhood as I had known it.

A month after my stroke, I was discharged from hospital and four months later my skull was reattached.

Stroke had a huge impact on our family, but my little boy was then diagnosed with cancer nine months after my stroke. I have hemiplegia so I couldn't help my son as I would have liked. And I couldn't travel with him for treatment – that still rips my heart out.

But, six years later, my son is cancer free, I am a single mum, and our little family is going strong.

Every day is still a challenge. I am always looking for new ways to get things done. I have found ways to get dressed, to cook and hang out the washing. And I am always amazed with how resilient, helpful and kind my children are.

My kids also tell me that I give the best one-armed hugs.