It was 2020. I was 20.

By James

It was 2020. I was 20 and on a gap year. I was planning to head back to Uni the following year to study exercise and sports science. I was fit as hell - long runs, nights out at bars with my mates, a part-time job at Chemist Warehouse. Life was going pretty bloody well. 

There was just one thing that needed fixing: an AVM in my brain. We’d tried a few treatments, including radiotherapy, but I just wanted the time bomb out of my head. So, I decided to go under the knife. 

For me, that turned into a complete shit show. 

Something went very wrong. I bled a lot and ended up living in the hospital for a year. I don’t remember most of it. Because it was COVID, I barely saw my family, none of my friends, and with zero stimulation I became pretty delusional. I knew there was a virus going around, but that’s about it. Mostly, I was stuck in this hazy, half-conscious grind. 

I had my 21st birthday in hospital. Apparently, a family member came - but I was unconscious. 

One thing I do remember is sucking on lollipops to get the muscles in my mouth working again so I could speak. Weirdly, that was a highlight. 

After a year, I finally got out. My left side was affected. I was using a wheelchair and relearning how to talk. 

And honestly? I’ve never been completely crushed by what happened. There’s been grief, some depression, and I’ve definitely been pissed off at times - but I was screened for PTSD and didn’t have it. I reckon I’ve got PTG instead: post-traumatic growth. I’m more focused, more grounded, and probably a better man than I was before the stroke. When I get frustrated, I give myself a kick up the arse and remind myself I’ve got a long life ahead - and I want to enjoy it. 

I don’t really know why I reacted this way. It could’ve gone very differently. But it didn’t. 

Now I’m working towards becoming a disability advocate. I want a job, my own apartment, and to travel further than Queensland. I’m volunteering with Summer Foundation and the Greens (VIC), and I’d love to get into public speaking one day. I want to help create real change. 

If I have any advice, it’s this: be patient. With yourself, or with the person you love. We might move a bit slower - but we’re just trying to live our lives.