My stroke was due to a hole in my heart

By Kruni

In 2019 I started to have migraines from hell. They were 24/7 unrelenting and utter, utter agony.

No amount of drugs could ease the pain in my head. I tried everything. On a particularly bad night my vision began to distort, I couldn’t see out of my right eye, so I went back to bed still thinking it was a migraine.

The following day the headache was particularly bad. I was lying on the couch taking painkillers, I literally could not move, so my son was helping me.

I kept taking more and more pills, hoping that eventually they would take the edge off. It was another full day like this, with throbbing headaches and vision loss, before I asked my daughter to call an ambulance. By that time I knew that I was in deep trouble.

I was taken to the emergency room but for some reason was put in a waiting room with a blanket, I assume that the doctors also thought it was a migraine. Eventually I was given a CT scan and a clot was discovered.

I remember very little about this time, other than the pain.

When I regained consciousness, I was told that I had had a stroke. I don't have many memories of this time, but my sister tells me that I cried and cried.

She says that for two days I would wake up and ask if I had had a stroke and I would break down again. I hated stroke, the world and the surgeon who had been treating me for a heart condition and who had missed the hole in my heart. I was so angry; I knew my life would never be the same.

The stroke took the vision in my right eye, and partial vision in my left. It impacted my coordination; I had tingling and numbness on my right side and my right leg didn’t work like it used to.

I couldn’t even get a spoon to my mouth. I remember praying I would go to sleep and not wake up again. I didn't want to live like this.

After a week in the Stroke Unit, I was moved to the Royal Talbot for rehab. I was the youngest there by about 40 years, which I found tough. I started basic rehab and I was kicking ass at the gym, but my memory and vision were shot, so brain training was a challenge.

After a couple of weeks, I went home and had outpatient care. Then COVID-19 hit and my therapy ended.

So, I became my own therapist. Initially I couldn’t orientate myself in my own home. I would need the bathroom and end up in the laundry with no idea how I got there. Cleaning became my new lifeline. It helped me to move, to orientate myself and gave me something that I could be proud of. Cleaning a house when you can’t see, move easily or orientate is hard – but I did it.

Walking my dog Diesel was my other lifeline. He got me back out into the world. He became my Melways Directory. I would get lost, but he always knew how to get home, and he would lead the way.

I taught myself how to read again. I used Facebook, books, lists, whatever I could get my hands on to read. I am nowhere near as fluent as I was, but it’s good enough.

In the last year or so, I have met some important milestones which have helped to build my confidence. My world had gotten much smaller, and I was determined to get out of my box and into the world again. A year to the day of my stroke I went back to work.

Getting back to work is the best thing that I could have done. I am moving forward; I have an occupation and the staff all know about my stroke. They understand how my stroke has impacted me physically and with my short-term memory. Each member of our team has been 'my rock'. I adore every one of them.

I want to thank everyone who has stood by me and for not giving up on me. Thank you for putting up with my repetition and my new - absolutely "no filters" mouth.

Thank you to my kids for being my support crew, for driving me to appointments and making sure I always had someone visit me every day in hospital.

Nat, Tommy, John and Jen – I love you.

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To my new stroke community - Wish me luck in my new life, and I wish you luck in yours - Dory Aka Kruni