Reclaiming Myself After Stroke

I never imagined I would have a stroke. I was in Bali on holiday in August 2024, training in the hotel gym for my 15th Melbourne Marathon. I was looking forward to pulling on my Spartans blue singlet, moving up from green after 15 years of marathons. Running has always been a huge part of who I am. 

That afternoon, everything changed. 

As I ran on the treadmill, I felt a bizarre sensation, like someone had covered my ears. Everything was muffled, like a heavy head cold. I tried to slow the treadmill, but my fingers wouldn’t work. My left side felt wrong. I dropped my phone and struggled to pick it up, my feet scuffed along the ground, and when I took a sip of water it dribbled straight out of my mouth. 

That was the moment I thought: uh oh, I think I’m in trouble. 

There was no one else in the gym, so I had to get myself back to my room. I climbed two flights of stairs and walked strangely across the resort, looking back, I must have seemed drunk to anyone who saw me. Somehow, I managed to contact my husband, who rushed back and got me to hospital. The doctors in Bali acted quickly and gave me the right treatment straight away. Later, when I returned to Melbourne, my neurologist ran every test possible to work out what caused my stroke. The answer is still a mystery. 

I’m fit, healthy, with no high blood pressure, cholesterol, or diabetes. I wasn’t on any medication. Yet, it still happened to me. That’s something I’ve had to come to terms with. I know I’m one of the lucky ones. Physically, I’ve recovered really well. I’m left with a strange sensation in my mouth and fatigue at times, but I’m so grateful it wasn’t worse. Still, I often think about what could have happened, and how different my life might be. 

After my stroke, I was determined to keep running. My neurologist, my coach, my husband, my family and friends all supported me. Two months later, I made it to the start line of the Melbourne Marathon. Crossing that finish line was by far my biggest achievement, emotional, overwhelming, and proof to myself that I was still me. I ran for myself, but also for those who’ve had a stroke and can’t do the things they love anymore. 

Getting back in the gym was another step in reclaiming who I am. I started from scratch, telling myself: it’s okay to be slow, it’s okay to take it easy, it’s okay to just be. Every little thing I managed felt like an achievement. Facing the treadmill again, where my stroke first happened, was confronting but necessary. I didn’t want to let fear take over. I wanted to take back that space and move forward. 

I think I threw myself into these activities because I needed to prove to myself that I was still the same person. Running, training, moving- it’s part of me. Reclaiming that felt like reclaiming my identity. 

My advice for others 

If you’re recovering from a stroke, my advice is: do what feels right for you. Everyone’s journey is different. It might be slow, it might take time, but every effort you make matters. 

Surround yourself with supportive people, family, friends, colleagues, anyone who lifts you up. That support makes a huge difference. 

And don’t be afraid to take baby steps. Going back to familiar things, even in the smallest way, helped me feel like myself again. Facing those hard or triggering moments, when you’re ready and it’s safe, can help you move forward. 

If this story resonates with you and you have question, please call the team on StrokeLine 1800 787 653.