The Great Vacuum Cleaner Showdown

By Setten

Let me set the scene for you. It’s a quiet Tuesday morning, and I’ve decided to tackle the Everest of household chores: vacuuming. Simple, right? Wrong. Enter Setten (me) vs. Dog (my furry arch-nemesis in this story).

The vacuum cleaner comes out, and suddenly, my dog transforms from a loving companion into a rabid defender of the carpet. To him, this isn’t a cleaning tool; it’s a noisy, glowing intruder that must be defeated at all costs.

The battle begins.

Round 1: The Sneak Attack

I plug in the vacuum, and before I can even turn it on, he’s already circling, barking his battle cry. I try to maneuver around him, but it’s like dodging a caffeinated toddler. My first attempt at vacuuming ends with me doing a 360-degree spin to avoid stepping on his tail.

Calories burned: Probably 10.

Round 2: Tug-of-War

Apparently, the vacuum is now his toy. I’m trying to reel it back in while he’s holding on like his life depends on it. It’s a full-on tug-of-war match, complete with growling (him) and grunting (me).

Calories burned: At least 30. My arm is getting a better workout than it ever did at the gym.

Round 3: The Chase

Somehow, he’s managed to grab the vacuum head. Now I’m following him around the living room, not easy, while he drags it behind him. My heart rate is up, my legs are burning, and I’m sweating like I just rode 5K on my trike.

Calories burned: Easily 50. Who needs cardio when you have a dog?

The Aftermath

Eventually, I reclaim the vacuum, but not without a lot of bribery (read: treats) and some questionable negotiation tactics. The carpet is finally clean, but I’m left wondering: Did I vacuum the house, or did the house vacuum me?

Incidental Exercise, Dog Edition

Here’s the silver lining: Fighting with your dog over the vacuum cleaner is great incidental exercise. You’re squatting, lunging, laughing, moving—all while keeping your dog entertained. Forget Pilates; this is the workout of champions.

So, the next time you’re dreading housework, remember this: Cleaning isn’t just a chore—it’s a full-body workout, especially if you have a four-legged personal trainer who thinks vacuuming is a competitive sport.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go lie down. My dog, on the other hand, is ready for Round 2.

Setten: 1
Dog: Also 1.