I was 50 when I had my stroke

Before that night, I had no medical issues. I was working as a vet nurse before starting as a BDM, travelling, living in Kilmore and getting on with life. 

Then, one night, I woke up in my bedroom. The heater was on and I was feeling hot, so I got up to get some water. 

That’s when I noticed something strange. 

I had a numb feeling in my body. At first, I thought it was pins and needles, but then I realised this wasn't the usual feeling – this was different. 

I remember moving my hand and thinking, something isn't right. 

My first thought was that I didn't want to disturb anyone. But I couldn't shake the feeling that something was wrong. 

Not wanting to disturb anyone, I somehow hobbled to the kitchen, had a glass of water, got one for my wife and woke her up. I told her that I was hoping what I was feeling wasn't a stroke. 

I asked her to call an ambo and then let my sister know, who also lived in Melbourne but on the other side. 

The paramedics arrived within minutes and did the F.A.S.T. test. They confirmed my worst fears – indeed, I was having a stroke. 

We were both shocked. 

Everything happened very quickly. It turned out I had experienced a right pontine ischaemic stroke. I spent two days in hospital and then 45 days in the rehabilitation unit at Royal Melbourne Hospital. 

Learning to live in a new body 

For me, rehabilitation was a positive experience. I was very well supported by the team in rehab and was learning to live in this new body. There were obviously difficult moments, of course, but having good people around me made all the difference. 

My wife was there almost every day, and so was my sister's husband. They were going through it all with me, and there were a lot of tears. It was hard watching them go through that, too. 

I cried a lot during that time, and I’m not ashamed to say that. 

Sometimes you just need to let it out, and I think it’s important for men to know that talking about how you’re feeling is okay. 

The first year after my stroke was particularly difficult. I couldn't run anymore, which I used to love doing. I still get cramps in my leg, and the pain can be tricky to manage. 

I still cannot run, but it's overrated! 

There are things I could do before that I can't do now, but there is something I want people to understand. 

I'm still me. 

My body changed, but my thought process and my mind didn't. I still have goals that I want to achieve. I want to contribute, work, and be part of my community. 

Finding new ways to keep moving forward 

Looking back on my recovery, there are a few things I do that help me keep moving forward. 

Physically, I'm walking and trying to complete my exercises every day. I know how important it is to keep moving and to keep working on my recovery. 

Emotionally, I'm learning how to deal with the difficult moments. I try to read and watch emotional books and movies and work on my recovery time when I have a breakdown. I'm learning to give myself time and space to process things. 

I also do mental exercises. I use brain-training apps like Impulse and Lumosity, play Word Feud and do Sudoku. 

I'm also reskilling to become an Allied Health Assistant, which means I'm learning a completely new skill. I always loved volunteering, and now I'm taking my life in a new direction. 

Before my stroke, I was a vet nurse and had studied to become a veterinarian. I never imagined that I might one day work in allied health and help other people through their own recovery. 

Perhaps this is the path I was always going to take. 

My stroke changed my perspective on life 

Having a stroke has definitely changed the way I look at life. 

Life seems even more uncertain now. The impermanence of work has become more prominent, as has my desire to take risks. 

My relationships have changed too. I've become more spiritual, with a realisation that we come alone into this world and we go alone. 

We just need to be kinder to our existing friends and family while we live. Spread love and try to help anyone in need. 

My stroke has changed the direction of my life, but it hasn't taken away my desire to keep moving forward. 

We need to hear more about life after stroke 

Something I've noticed since having my stroke is that you hear a lot about stroke happening. 

You hear about F.A.S.T., about getting to hospital quickly – and that's incredibly important. 

But you don't always hear what happens next. 

You don't hear enough about the people who are living with the effects of stroke months or years later. You don't hear enough about the challenges – the pain, the things you can no longer do, the frustration and the adjustment. 

The broken families. 

But you also don't hear enough about the possibilities. 

You don't hear enough success stories after stroke. I want people to know that having a stroke doesn't necessarily mean your life is over. Recovery isn't a straight line, and there are things I still struggle with every day. 

But there are also new opportunities, goals and new directions. For me, that means looking for a career where I can help other people. 

A message to others starting their recovery 

If I could say one thing to someone who is early in their recovery and feeling frustrated or unsure about what their future might look like, I would say: 

Keep praying, keep the faith, keep exercising regularly, be kind to family and friends around you and be kinder to yourself. It'll be alright. 

If this story resonates with you, and you have questions about stroke or stroke recovery, please call the team on StrokeLine 1800 787 653